


A Stroll Along the Beach

by MalchikPride



Category: UTAU
Genre: Angst, Bitterness, Gen, Hate, Insanity, Jealousy, Like Haru is messed up inside, Suicidal Thoughts, This is just not a happy fic, Transphobia, Unrequited Love, minor mentions of other characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 14:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17530172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalchikPride/pseuds/MalchikPride
Summary: A blank world that spins around, a world that melts into various shapes.A world that melts and breaks, only to repair itself.A convenient world.Does such a thing truly exist?





	A Stroll Along the Beach

**Author's Note:**

> About this story..I’m not sure what made me do this.\  
> I guess I just wanted to write a bitter thing?
> 
> -shrugs- Who knows.
> 
> Umm, Shiroutone Hokuro and Shikine Seiji belong to Mole.
> 
> I don’t own her characters, I’m just borrowing them.

A blank world that spins around, a world that melts into various shapes. A world that melts and breaks, only to repair itself. A convenient world.

 

Does such a thing truly exist?

 

Akira Haru frowned as he looked up at the night sky, watching the twinkling stars. Raising his hand to the air he made grabbing motions, like he was trying to grab a star out of the sky.

 

“A blank world, a world where nothing changes. A stale dry husk.” Haru mused, closing his hand into a fist, “What would it be like to look on this world from above, without a clouded perspective?” A flash of memory and Haru’s thoughts came back to earth.

 

He was alone, always alone.

 

There was Loline Tsuchi of course, his daughter of sorts. There was also his twin Akira Hari. Those two were always by his side.

 

Shikine Seiji was someone he always looked up to, as a friend and idol of sorts. Seiji was great, for that matter so was Shiroutone Hokuro. Who would listen to his rambling and respond naturally. Even though he would say depressing and bitter stuff every now and then, he could sense Hokuro had some bitter thoughts as well.

 

Though both agreed they shouldn’t dwell on such things. It was never a good thing.

 

Then he had a flashback of his old friends. He had dreams of being back at the UTAU Dreams house and going on adventures with Watase Maki and Ame Runa and the others.

 

Haru’s wishes came crashing back down to earth.

 

They abandoned him.

 

It wasn’t something Haru liked to think about, and he tried not to be bitter about it. But he had so many relationships that were tossed down the drain. Swirling and washing away.

 

Lost dreams.

 

Haru looked back up at the sky, his vision blurring as he wiped at the tears that were there, “Why am I so sad about it? I should be used to this.” He wrapped his arms around himself, “Everything has always gone wrong.”

 

Debuting on stage for the first time as a performer, then getting trashed by the world. People yelling that he was too girly for his own good, he looked like a woman.

 

That was when he went to Maki for help, who made him over.

 

An updated design.

 

Again he was trashed though. Always trashed. He would always try his hardest to reach people, to fill the world with his voice. Though nothing ever came of it.

 

Here he was, years later.

 

Alone and forgotten.

 

Haru hated this feeling. This horrible, draining hate and bitterness that filled up inside of him, clouding his mind with dark thoughts.

 

Shaking his head, Haru looked down at the ground, his vision still blurred.

 

“Right…That’s enough of that.” Haru muttered, rubbing at his eyes.

 

He turned around and began walking to the beach, maybe he could clear his mind with a nice dip?

 

Haru didn’t get too far though, as he noticed a pair walking his direction. A familiar head of wine red hair, and a woman with a long blue ahoge.

 

Steeling himself Haru clapped his cheek a couple of times and wiped the rest of the tears off.

 

“Hello Seiji and Hokuro…” Haru started, waving to the two.

 

Hokuro looked up, “You know you can call me Kuro…right?”

 

Seiji sighed, “Hello Haru.”

 

Haru smiled, or at least tried to, it was something and these were his friends. This was a happy moment, a good thing, “What are you up to this late at night?” He asked.

 

Seiji scratched the back of his head, “I’m visiting someone and I just happened to bump into Kuro on the way.”

 

Hokuro giggled, “He means he’s on his way to see Kei and Jaku. Probably for a rendezvous.”

 

Seiji blushed, “It’s just a visit!” He then looked away as if steeling himself, “What about you Haru?”

 

Haru thought for a moment, “I just needed to clear my head, so I’m heading tot he beach for a quick swim.”

 

“Ah then we shouldn’t be holding you up…” Hokuro said, a small smile on her face, “It was nice bumping into you~” She then elbowed her brother, “Right Seiji?”

 

Seiji sighed and nodded, “It’s always nice.”

 

Haru laughed some, “Same here. Well, erm, see you later then.” He said waving as the other two bowed some and continued on their way.

 

“…” Haru sighed, “A rendezvous, hm?” He smiled bitterly, “Must be nice.”

 

Haru then froze at that thought, why would he think such a thing? Seiji and Hokuro were nothing but nice to him, and here he was talking like they were a plague.

 

“Hahahahh…I’m really messed up today, huh?” Haru pondered to himself, “Ha…Hahahah.” He turned around and continued his trek to the beach, not even bothering to put up a happy facade. He didn’t feel like it today.

 

After a while he found himself on the beach, the white sand crunching beneath his boots as he stared at the ocean waves.

 

“There’s salt in the ocean isn’t there?” Haru pondered, he could just imagine the ocean swallowing him whole. Sinking to the dark depths never to be seen again. Erased and free.

 

“There goes those thoughts again…” He then grinned, his expression one of a broken man, “Hahahah. That’s such a messed up thought. I’m a ghost! I’m already dead~” He laughed again, “What would even happen to me? Would I be double dead? Would I even go anywhere? I’d probably just vanish into thin air! Hahahahah!”

 

He hated this side of himself, a side he never showed the world. A side he kept locked away.

 

It was disgusting, he was disgusting.

 

A disgusting, bitter, loathsome blight on this world.

 

“…” Haru sighed as he walked into the ocean, still fully dressed. He didn’t feel like undressing. Too much effort.

 

Stretching his arms out, he turned on his back, allowing himself to float on top of the water.

 

Looking up at the starry night sky.

 

“What does it mean to be happy?” Haru wondered, “What’s it mean to be alive?” Then he laughed again, “Hahahah. I’m already dead, so I can never be alive.” It was a sobering thought, “…” He could see his vision getting blurry again, feeling the tears streaming down his face, “I’m horrible for thinking this. I’m a vile person.” Here he paused, “Do I even count as a person? I’m a ghost!” His tears continued, “I’m just filled with these horrible feelings. It’s disgusting. I’m disgusting. I talked shit about my friends. I’m just a horrible, disgusting individual!”

 

Haru continued to float, feeling the fabric of his shirt getting heavier.

 

This was going to be a pain to wash.

 

“There I go again. I complain…I whine and moan about life, but will I do anything about it?” Here Haru scoffed, “Unlikely. I’ll just bury it and continue on.”

 

A night sky.

 

A useless speck of dust in the grand scheme of things.

 

Life was truly a piece of trash.


End file.
